Smitty ([info]smittywing) wrote,
@ 2006-01-24 01:11:00
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Current mood: okay
Current music:"Ziggy Stardust" -- David Bowie
Entry tags:fic, sga

[SGA fic] It's Been a Long Cold Lonely Winter
Title: It's Been a Long Cold Lonely Winter
Author: Smitty
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Spoilers: None for the episodes, but it's a future for The Best Things in Life Are Free which makes me feel like a giant wanker but...*handwaves*...yeah.
Summary: This was how it works the first night.

[info]reccea suggested the title from the Beatles' "Here Comes the Sun". This ficlet is all her fault - inspired, bullied, beta'd, the works. *wuffs*


It's Been a Long Cold Lonely Winter

"I'm not picking you up at the airport," Rodney says over the phone.

"That's fine," John says. "Just remember to leave the key under the mat this time so I don't have to sit outside, all right?"

"I was planning to be home that time," Rodney sulks, and hangs up.

When John gets off the plane, Rodney's there, waiting, arms crossed -- to keep from hugging John -- and foot tapping impatiently -- to keep his leg from twitching.

"Took you long enough," Rodney says, slapping John on the back. "C'mon."

People keep stopping John on the concourse to say thank you and to bless him and once, a little boy asks him for his autograph. John signs the paper and folds it into a paper airplane while Rodney fidgets irritably.

"I don't know why they're so impressed," he says when they're alone again. "All you did was go shoot at things."

"You parked on the top deck?" John asked when he and his rucksack squish into the parking garage elevator with Rodney. "Didn't that involve a lot of effort?"

"Down is easier than up," Rodney says. "And you're the one with all the heavy lifting." His car is one of four on that level and the other three look like they were abandoned for sunnier locales a week ago. Their owners aren't coming back any time soon. Rodney pops the trunk with his keyfob and lets himself into the car. John dumps his bag in the trunk, slams it closed, and barely makes it into the passenger seat before Rodney has his hands on John's face, in his hair, and his tongue in John's mouth.

John breathes out slowly, Rodney's scent and taste and the feel of his skin familiar and home.

~ ~ ~

John drops his duffle in the middle of Rodney's living room floor, cups Rodney's face in his hands, and kisses him just as deep and hard and sweet as he's wanted to for months. Rodney's mouth opens under his, already talking, already pushing John down the hallway.

"Rodney," he murmurs in a voice that sounds much too broken to be his own. "I need -- "

"I know," Rodney says, dragging him into the bedroom. "I'm trying."

John gives up then and lets Rodney manhandle him onto the bed, spreading his legs automatically to keep his boots off the cover of Rodney's down comforter. "I should get in the shower," he says against Rodney's chin. "I've been on the plane forever."

Rodney stops kissing him and leans one cheek against his, with its five o'clock shadow, and gasps for a moment. John reaches around him, hands sliding under his shirt, pushing up his back. "Stop that," Rodney says, pulling away and kneeling on the floor. He unlaces John's left boot, wrestles it off, and pulls the heavy sock after it. He presses a kiss to the inside of John's ankle and John thinks maybe he doesn't need a shower that badly after all. Rodney moves around the bed and does battle with the other boot. "Yeah, okay," he grunts, getting to his feet. "Let's go." He drags John to the bathroom and lets John pull his shirt over his head. It musses Rodney's hair adorably and John spends long minutes kissing his hairline, which was maybe a little higher than it had been when John had left.

He pushes the rest of John's uniform off and it feels so, so good to be naked with Rodney. John pulls at Rodney's pants but Rodney is ahead of him, pushing pants and boxers to his ankles and then stumbling out of shoes and socks while trying not to trip on the pantlegs. John reaches in and turns on the water as he waits for Rodney to right himself. Then Rodney's naked too, and John has to touch him, even as Rodney tries to get them both into the shower. They stumble in and hit the wall -- Rodney's shower isn't actually big enough to fall down in, fortunately.

Rodney's hand fits around John's dick and John gasps hard. It isn't that he's forgotten how good this is, but the memories somehow became surreal, fantasies, things he was quite sure had been real, but had no real way to prove. He reaches for Rodney, reaches for slick skin that skates under his fingertips as Rodney strokes him. The curve of Rodney's bicep, the side of his chin, the middle of Rodney's back, his stomach, anywhere John can reach. Somewhere, Rodney gets a handful of soap and but keeps his pace.

"Rodney," John murmurs, tilting forward against Rodney's body, letting his arms keep him upright against the far wall. He slides his cheek against Rodney's temple and mouthes a kiss next to Rodney's eye. "This is going to be fast."

"It's okay," Rodney murmurs. "Take the edge off."

John catches his breath and tries to swallow but his body is sparking and thrusting at Rodney. Rodney pushes his free hand up John's chest, into the dark hair, and comes to rest over his heart. He squeezes and John comes, as if on command, panting against Rodney's temple and mouthing wordless promises never to leave again.

Rodney holds him as the water crashes over them both, stroking over John's skin with soapy hands and rubbing firmly between his pectoral muscles, under his arms, at the nape of his neck, wherever sweat might have collected and dried during the long trip.

"Deal with your own damn hair," Rodney instructs, tilting him back against the wall and putting a bottle of shampoo in his hand before moving down to rub soap behind his knees and in the crease of his butt and thigh.

John reaches down and brushes his hand over Rodney's head. He'd forgotten how Rodney tends to look like a bedraggled cat when his hair is wet. Rodney pauses as John's hand touches him and presses a kiss at the nearest available body part -- John's thigh, just above the knee -- and then goes back to what he was doing. John scrubs shampoo through his hair and tilts his head into the spray to rinse it out.

He feels empty, wrung out, squeezed dry, but he's home and the water is hot, Rodney's hands are -- well, not gentle, exactly, but welcome, so so welcome, and he feels safe inside these walls, even if what he's doing might turn out more dangerous to his career than ducking SAMs and RPGs.

"Don't fall asleep on me," Rodney warns, catching his face and giving him a watery kiss.

"I'm not falling asleep," he says, eyes still closed, as Rodney cranks off the water. "'M just glad to be home."

There's a beat where nothing happens and then Rodney's arms are around him, thick and strong, holding him upright, holding him tight, and Rodney's fierce declaration in his ear, "I'm glad you're home, too," makes everything feel right with the world.

Too soon, Rodney drags him out of the shower and thrusts the insanely soft, insanely huge green towel designated as John's against his chest. It's nearly as long as he is tall and he manages to get it tangled around his shoulders as he rubs his hair.

"You're a mess," Rodney says, dragging it off him and swiping at the remaining water droplets on his chest and shoulders.

"You bought the damn thing," John reminds him, pushing Rodney's own towel aside and leaning forward to lick Rodney's damp neck. He reaches down and finds Rodney still half-hard, easy to arouse.

"I see you've found your second wind," Rodney says, the dry sneer ruined by the hiccup he makes when John sweeps his thumb that certain way.

"Take me to bed," he murmurs, smiling, in Rodney's ear. "Or lose me forever."

"Oh, my God," Rodney groans. "I never should have let you watch that movie. Ever. Why did we ever think that was a good idea?"

While he talks, Rodney shoves his own towel to the side and herds John back into the bedroom, across the carpet and over the obstacle course of boots and socks. He pauses at the side of the bed and kisses John with an aching gentleness, one hand on John's cheek, the other on the small of his back. They kiss until John can't stand it anymore and then he steps back and crawls onto the bed.

This was how it works the first night.

John isn't sure when they first did it or when it had become routine. In the days following his return, he likes to take control, trying to make up for all the times in the previous months when he's been helpless, unable to save everyone. If they have enough time for any sort of routine to develop, they switch off positions as easily as chores but the first night always goes like this.

"You're tight," Rodney says, twisting his fingers. "Really tight. I don't want to hurt you."

John has been gone longer than usual, months longer, and he doesn't mind a little pain. It always hurts a bit on that first night.

"I'll be okay," he says. "Just do it?" He can feel Rodney's hesitation.

"If you're sure…."

"I am," he says, bracing the side of his face against the pillows.

"I'm very concerned about this lack of self-preservation you're exhibiting," Rodney says and John can feel him pressed up in place.

"Rodney," John growls because I'm begging you to fuck me, you idiot, has too many words.

"Right," Rodney says, his voice completely different, and he pushes.

John gasps against the pillow.

Rodney doesn't say anything else but his hands start moving in broad strokes over John's hips and back until John reaches back with one hand and squeezes Rodney's wrist.

Rodney's hand stills, then pulls back and then Rodney really starts fucking him. John breathes out slowly and lets everything go. He needs this, needs Rodney on the first night. It's the secret they never tell, not even to each other.

More often than not, the pillow under John's face is damp when Rodney fucks him into the mattress. Release comes in more forms than orgasm.

John's refractory period is remarkably short when it comes to Rodney and coming home and by the time Rodney is close and reaching around his waist, John is hard and ready again. Rodney comes first and the rush of warmth and the hard grip of his hand pushes John over the edge.

Rodney always seems reluctant to dislodge himself, but he's always careful and never lingers. "Wow," he says, landing on his back. "That was. Wow."

John rolls up to his side and tucks one arm around his pillow, smiling fondly at Rodney. "So this sex thing," he says. "You think you like it?"

"Oh, shut up," Rodney orders, turning back to his own side. He reaches out and touches John's hip carefully. "I didn't hear you complaining," he says, his eyes fixed on his hand and the skin under it.

"I'm fine," John says, nudging Rodney's chin upward with his thumb.

Rodney's hand slips to the damp skin at the small of his back, his forearm resting heavily on John's waist. "Can't keep you clean for anything," he murmurs.

"Go to sleep," John says, laying his hand on Rodney's other arm. "I expect a gourmet meal when we wake up starving in the middle of the night."

"Yeah, we'll see if Dominos is still delivering," Rodney says, and then he's out like a light.

John smiles and closes his eyes. He can sleep now. He's home.

Fin



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[info]namastenancy
2006-01-24 06:30 am UTC (link)
Oh, lovely -- the voices are just perfect and the sex is both tender AND hot.

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-05 11:50 pm UTC (link)
Aw, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

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[info]walkingshadow
2006-01-24 07:02 am UTC (link)
oh, this is so lovely and warm and sad all at the same time. stories like this are just the most sad to me somehow—they love each other so much and they have to keep it utterly secret, and i think they must always be afraid. this homecoming though, this is perfect, especially taking into account all that love and fear. i love the way rodney huffs about not picking john up at the airport and then shows up anyway, the slap on the back, the kissing in the car. everything feels like desperation and connection and home, and alongside He slides his cheek against Rodney's temple and mouthes a kiss next to Rodney's eye (so impossibly sweet) and "It's okay," Rodney murmurs. "Take the edge off" (*DIES*), there's still "I never should have let you watch that movie. Ever. Why did we ever think that was a good idea?" and "I expect a gourmet meal when we wake up starving in the middle of the night"—john and rodney to the bone, bickering through everything and out the other side. this is one of my favorite fictional alternate universes of all time (and space!).

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 01:28 am UTC (link)
It is sad, isn't it? :( But they love each other and they though it was a better option than breaking up. :) I'm glad they're still acting in accordance to form. :) It's not a good AU unless the characters are still recognizable. Thank you!

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[info]turtlespeaks
2006-01-24 07:08 am UTC (link)
Damn, now I kinda wish I'd waited to read this until you were done. But it's so wonderful, and I'm willing to leap at anything in this series!

This was really sweet, and a good look at what the future has in store for them. I just want to hug both of them. I sorta want a lot more fic in this universe, having to do with them as adults as well, not just the kids. Who am I kidding? I don't want it to ever end. *is ashamed*

Also, there seems to be some inside jokes that will makes sense in later chapters I'm thinking. *squee*

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 01:31 am UTC (link)
I figured it wasn't actually going to spoil much, because the original fic actually says that it's John/Rodney despite the obvious lack of...John/Rodney. But I'm glad you read it anyway! And don't be ashamed, there's already a sequel started and, well, yeah, there's probably going to be a few more stories of them being adults. Thank you!

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[info]tardis80
2006-01-24 08:01 am UTC (link)
*sigh* love is bittersweet sometimes. i love it.

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 12:42 am UTC (link)
Aw, thank you. :) You're totally right, it is.

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[info]porntestpilot
2006-01-24 08:41 am UTC (link)
This was very sweet and heartfelt, annnd I love how you are going back and forth between different parts of the past with this series.

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 12:43 am UTC (link)
Aw, thank you. :) It's not terribly organized, we're just posting future stuff as it's thought of and finished, as long as it doesn't spoil certain things.

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[info]z_rayne
2006-01-24 09:29 am UTC (link)
but it's a future for The Best Things in Life Are Free which makes me feel like a giant wanker

Oh, but you shouldn't, because this lets people know that CBML ends with John and Rodney togther, which is kind of important when you're putting them through all that angst and pain.

This is so achingly beautiful; I love it very, very much.

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 01:32 am UTC (link)
Aww, thank you. :) (And wow, they haven't even seen the depths of angst and pain, huh?) ;)

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[info]fatuorum
2006-01-24 10:29 am UTC (link)
*flails* *incoherent squealing* *flails some more* So so much love for this series! This homecoming is just so many different kinds of perfection: all the details of Rodney being careful, being tender, John being so *himself*, and the things not spoken but *there*. This is one comfort fic to snuggle up to.

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[info]fatuorum
2006-01-24 10:32 am UTC (link)
Also? That quote? Made me grin like a loon. *G*

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(no subject) - [info]smittywing, 2006-03-03 04:55 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]clarkangel
2006-01-24 10:30 am UTC (link)
This was beautiful. Simply beautiful.

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 12:44 am UTC (link)
Thank you!

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[info]wychwood
2006-01-24 11:08 am UTC (link)
Oh, this is just wonderful. I love this incarnation of their relationship, and the grief and pain John can let go when he's with Rodney. Just, the love they have for each other here.

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 01:32 am UTC (link)
Aw, thank you. :) I like to think that they just fit.

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[info]burntcopper
2006-01-24 01:34 pm UTC (link)
awww. lovely. possibly the bit that got me most had to be the towel. :g:

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 01:34 am UTC (link)
Aw, thank you! *giggles* The towel was completely a throw away line, so I'm totally amused that it worked out so well. :)

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[info]monanotlisa
2006-01-24 01:50 pm UTC (link)
Oh. Oh.

How do you do that, writing fiction that's sweet and hot and so perfectly right??

Thanks in any case. *g*

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 01:36 am UTC (link)
Aww, you're too flattering. :) Thank you. I just call 'em like I see 'em.

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[info]tigs
2006-01-24 01:58 pm UTC (link)
Anything from this series makes me so happy! I do like seeing all of these glimpses into the future--partially because it assures me as to a happy resolution to the main series, but also because I just love the way you write the two of them. They are so very John and Rodney. Very nice.

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 01:37 am UTC (link)
Yay! I'm glad you're enjoying the futures. :) [info]reccea asked me what happened after the end of the main story and I started making up random stuff and things like this are what came out of it all. Thank you so much. :)

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[info]libitina
2006-01-24 02:09 pm UTC (link)
Oh, this is lovely. Hot and heartbreaking.

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 12:44 am UTC (link)
Aw, thank you. :)

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[info]raincitygirl
2006-01-24 02:29 pm UTC (link)
Ooh, lovely.

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 12:44 am UTC (link)
Thank you!

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[info]cereta
2006-01-24 02:37 pm UTC (link)
This is a fiendish plot to make me go read the rest of your story which I've been meaning to, anyway, but wasn't sure if it was done or still a WIP and...and...

Evil woman, writing such a compelling story.

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 01:38 am UTC (link)
Bwahahahaha! I'm working on my dastardly cackle.

It's still a WIP and it will be posted to the noticeboard when it is complete, so feel free to wait for it to be complete. It's just going to be very, very long....

Thank you. ;)

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[info]wickedwords
2006-01-24 03:24 pm UTC (link)
What a great homecoming for John. I love getting these little glimpses of their future together.

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 12:45 am UTC (link)
Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying them. :)

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[info]ladyflowdi
2006-01-24 03:34 pm UTC (link)
Lovely. Devestatingly so, in fact, that perfect mix of bittersweetness that they couldn't kiss in the airport, and sweetness, by the ache and the rush to get naked together at home. Loved it completely, very nicely done.

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 01:41 am UTC (link)
Wow, thank you! Their lives are difficult but they're both stubborn and determined to make it work. I'm glad you felt it. :)

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[info]mona1347
2006-01-24 03:58 pm UTC (link)
thrusts the insanely soft, insanely huge green towel designated as John's against his chest.

Oh...oh. *whimpers and flails and melts*

John has a Towel, and it's the biggest softest comfy-est one. That's just so unspeakable Rodney in showing affection.

*loves this and all Best Things in Life Are Free-related things*

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 01:44 am UTC (link)
Dude, haven't you heard? Towel is the new diamond ring. Er. Right, um, never mind. *grin* I am SO THRILLED that everyone loves the towel! It's so cute and it makes me sound so smart even though I totally only wrote it in as a throwaway line to keep the story from getting too sappy and intense. Thank you. :D

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[info]sp23
2006-01-24 04:01 pm UTC (link)
Oh, this was so great. I love the connection these two have, and this bit just made me more greedy than ever get to the part where they finally get together for the first time. As always, I love this universe. :)

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 01:48 am UTC (link)
Aw, thank you! They're so much fun together. :)

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[info]busarewski
2006-01-24 04:13 pm UTC (link)
Oh how I love your AU. They are so sweet, and there is so much story there, in their interactions and love and silence. So happy to read this. thanks.

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 01:49 am UTC (link)
Aww, thank you. :) I'm so glad you saw the bits between the lines. :)

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[info]tex
2006-01-24 04:51 pm UTC (link)
I love this series so much and this was a great future ending. But it's making me crazy where that movie quote came from - I KNOW it, its so familiar but I can't remember the name of the movie. Somebody help!

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[info]smittywing
2006-01-24 04:54 pm UTC (link)
*grin* It's Top Gun.

Thanks!

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[info]whatdanidigs
2006-01-24 04:52 pm UTC (link)
Awww. Love this to pieces.

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 12:45 am UTC (link)
Aw, thank you!

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[info]3jane
2006-01-24 05:00 pm UTC (link)
Mmmm.

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 12:45 am UTC (link)
Thank you!

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[info]bibliokat
2006-01-24 06:35 pm UTC (link)
Oh! I agree with everything everyone else said. Lovely, sweet, sad, towel!, and lots of other good adjectives.

This AU needs to go on always;)

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 01:39 am UTC (link)
*laughs* Thank you! (I'm laughing at the towel! bit, not at you!) :) At the rate I'm going...I'm afraid it WILL be going on always. Eep! ;)

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[info]kudra2324
2006-01-24 09:12 pm UTC (link)
mmm, this is lovely, with the hot and the sweet and also the angst. so glad you shared.

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[info]smittywing
2006-02-06 12:46 am UTC (link)
I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you!

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